FINDING YOUR VOICE

I had planned on writing about Maslow’s hierarchy this week but something happened today that caused me to decide to write about voice.  I write about voice all the time – finding it, building it and gaining confidence in it.  If you’ve read any of my published work and works in progress, you’ll find that I often reflect on voice as it relates to authenticity.  Isn’t it ironic that recently even the presidential candidates are saying that “they’ve found their voice”?  

In one of my favorite books, Radical Presence, by Mary Rose O’Reilly, she says that our “stories are caught in our throats.  We need someone to listen to our stuttering, stammering plea to be heard.” In last week’s blog I mentioned the woman who told the story of being ignored when she attended her company meetings.  Earlier this week, I was working with a group of leaders on organizational behavior and group communications.  We did an exercise on gender stereotypes in which we assign gender to words.  Two of the words were “aggressive” and “selfish”.  You guessed it – the group assigned female gender to these words.  And then today, a female survivor of war in Iran, cried when she revealed to me how much she wants to write her life story.  She choked up as she described her burning desire to write but loses her voice when all the war images assault her mind each time she tries to commit her story to paper.  Some of the learners in my leadership workshops yearn to find their voice and how to balance it among the other voices in a business organization. 

Some of us are trying to find our voice, some of us have found it but are looking for someone to listen, and some of us are seeking the confidence to use our voice.  When I worked in a sales role, I learned that one of the best ways to make cold calls is to warm up the voice before using the phone.  For example, one might read the road signs out loud as your travel from home to your office.  Another tip was to stand when you spoke to someone on the phone because this made you sound more confident. 

Isn’t it interesting that there are lots of tips about strengthening our vocal appeal?  So how do we raise the volume on our stories?  How we bring our spirit to our voice?  I have found that the solution to being most authentic and confident in my voice was to decide how I wanted to be in relationship to myself and to others. 

I intend to buy a journal for the woman I spoke with today who so wants to tell her story.  I will listen to her.  What will you do to develop your voice?  And, who will you be listening to?

Til next week,

Dr. M.